Heat oven to 175°. Wash and thoroughly dry 1 small bunch kale leaves, stems removed (about 4 packed cups). Arrange in a single layer on 2 baking sheets. Bake until crisp and crumbly, about 1½ hours. Let cool and then transfer to a food processor with ¼ cup sea salt, 2 tablespoons dried parsley, and 1 teaspoon granulated garlic. Process until thoroughly combined.
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Bonus: A bag of popcorn would be a nice complement to the super salt.